The Great A.I. Awakening

The simplest description of a neural network is that it’s a machine that makes classifications or predictions based on its ability to discover patterns in data. With one layer, you could find only simple patterns; with more than one, you could look for patterns of patterns.


Each neuron is connected to up to 10,000 other neurons, which means that the number of synapses is between 100 trillion and 1,000 trillion.


It means they have a fundamentally different view of the mind. Unlike Searle, they don’t assume that “consciousness” is some special, numinously glowing mental attribute — what the philosopher Gilbert Ryle called the “ghost in the machine.” They just believe instead that the complex assortment of skills we call “consciousness” has randomly emerged from the coordinated activity of many different simple mechanisms. The implication is that our facility with what we consider the higher registers of thought are no different in kind from what we’re tempted to perceive as the lower registers. Logical reasoning, on this account, is seen as a lucky adaptation; so is the ability to throw and catch a ball. Artificial intelligence is not about building a mind; it’s about the improvement of tools to solve problems.


Medical diagnosis is one field most immediately, and perhaps unpredictably, threatened by machine learning. Radiologists are extensively trained and extremely well paid, and we think of their skill as one of professional insight — the highest register of thought. In the past year alone, researchers have shown not only that neural networks can find tumors in medical images much earlier than their human counterparts but also that machines can even make such diagnoses from the texts of pathology reports. What radiologists do turns out to be something much closer to predictive pattern-matching than logical analysis. They’re not telling you what caused the cancer; they’re just telling you it’s there.


Once you’ve built a robust pattern-matching apparatus for one purpose, it can be tweaked in the service of others. One Translate engineer took a network he put together to judge artwork and used it to drive an autonomous radio-controlled car. A network built to recognize a cat can be turned around and trained on CT scans — and on infinitely more examples than even the best doctor could ever review. A neural network built to translate could work through millions of pages of documents of legal discovery in the tiniest fraction of the time it would take the most expensively credentialed lawyer. The kinds of jobs taken by automatons will no longer be just repetitive tasks that were once — unfairly, it ought to be emphasized — associated with the supposed lower intelligence of the uneducated classes. We’re not only talking about three and a half million truck drivers who may soon lack careers. We’re talking about inventory managers, economists, financial advisers, real estate agents. What Brain did over nine months is just one example of how quickly a small group at a large company can automate a task nobody ever would have associated with machines.


http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/12/14/magazine/the-great-ai-awakening.html

A Chicago Christmas

the ground covered in white,  glistening
the sky above falling white, mistening
no horizons, just hushed, stifling morning white, penetrating

white peace below, above, all around, everywhere
finally a refuge, Christmas Day

7 fatal shots
one dead then another and another
two standing on the porch, a Christmas party
another with bullets to the head, the back, the legs
pool of blood upon stairs of Labor of Love Apostolic Church,
orange gloves, casings leading to the altar of Love.
and another sitting in a car, in a park, drive by shot
and another found dead in Morgan Park, 24, not 25
laying in the snow, decorating white in his red, dead

the white ground covered in red, glistening
the sky above, grey, dark, deafening
no horizons, just hushed stifling mourning grey, deathening

cold, wet, damp below, above, all around, everywhere
no refuge, not even Christmas Day.

A Christmas Child

somewhere in a land far from her parents home a child is born to a mother accompanied by a man, who is not her father but a close family relative who is taking the child and her mom to a far away land in hope that the child may live in a land where the family might worship God in peace. Her family are strangers in this land and are not well received. The are mistrusted and despised. They are seen as desperate and different and a blight upon the land, a curse to be rejected. The child is born in a tent in a field on a cold rainy day and the only visitors are fellow journeyers who wash the child and give her to her mother's bosom. They share with her and her family what little food they have and offer swaddling clothes to wrap the child in. Her mother looks into the child's face and fears for her child and her future while at the same time feeling the love and admiration of a mother for a child. She sees in her child a gift from a God who seemingly has abandoned her and her people while at the same time accompanying them in their struggles and in their hearts and encouraging them to pray and to love. Her mother sees in this child a hope for the future, a gift for all people and she is gratified that her child has arrived this day safe and healthy. She and her relatives and friends give thanks for the birth of the child and rejoice with all the angels for the gift of this life and pray that they might find a way to be welcomed and given an opportunity to love and to pray again as they had in the days of old in the land from where they have journeyed.

"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional".

It is the resistance to the pain that is causing the suffering.

If you can successfully work with physical pain, then you are more likely to be able to work with mental pain.

Whether we like it or not, we need to understand and be able to handle suffering to some extent, especially mental suffering, notwithstanding our inclination to acknowledge the fact of suffering or not.

Buddhist teachings stress that life is uncertain, but death is certain; life is precarious but death is sure. Life has death as its goal. There is birth, disease, suffering, old age, and eventually, death. These are all aspects of the process of existence.

Insight Meditation

Donna Haraway, “Situated Knowledges: The Science Question in Feminism and the Privilege of Partial Perspective.

If science seeks total, objective, and abstract knowledge, then it is ignoring its own blind spots, irrelevancies, and biases. But if one can situate one’s knowledge as originating from a particular standpoint (I’m white, female, overeducated, middle-class, etc.) then one can acknowledge one’spartial knowledge of what there is to know… and my partial knowledge is relevant and interesting but only part of a bigger picture.

Vision is useful, she says, if we understand it as seeing from a body in a particular place. 

The solution, then, might mean acknowledging that no single eye (naked or not) can claim true objectivity – objectivity can only be approached by conversations among multiple subjective standpoints.

all seems not just mythically about the god trick of seeing everything from nowhere, but to have put the myth into ordinary practice. And like the god trick, the eye fucks the world to make techno-monsters.”

Mr. Sammler's Planet - Saul Bellow

"Specialists without spirit, sensualists without heart, this nullity imagines that it has attained a level of civilization never before achieved."    Max Weber

Things met with in this world are tied to the forms of our thinking. We see what is before us, the present, the objective. Eternal being makes its temporal appearance in this way. The only way out of captivity in the forms, out of confinement in the prison of projections, the only contact with the eternal, is through freedom.

Nothing seemed to hurt quite so much as being ravaged by a vice that was not a top vice.

It had never greatly mattered, and mattered less than ever now, in the seventies. But a sexual madness was overwhelming the Western world. Sammler now even vaguely recalled hearing that a President of the United States was supposed to have shown himself in a similar way to the representatives of the press(asking ladies to leave), and demanding to know whether a man so well hung could not be trusted to lead this country.

- it was plain that the rich men he knew were winners in struggles of criminality, of permissible criminality. In other words triumphant in forms of deceit and hardness of heart considered by the political order as a whole to be productive; kinds of cheating or thieving or (at best) wastefulness which on the whole caused the gross national product to increase.

He wanted, with God, to be free from the bondage of the ordinary and the finite. A soul released from Nature, from impressions, and from everyday life. For this to happen God Himself must be waiting, surely. And a man who has been killed and buried should have no other interest. He should be perfectly disinterested. Eckhardt said in so many words that God loved disinterested purity and unity. God Himself was drawn toward the disinterested soul. What besides the spirit should a man care for who has come back from the grave? However, and mysteriously enough, it happened, as Sammler observed, that one was always, and so powerfully, so persuasively, drawn back to human conditions... All postures are mocked by their opposites. This is what happens when the individual begins to be drawn back from disinterestedness to creaturely conditions. Portions or aspects of his earlier self revive.

And everything soon must change. Men would set their watches by other suns than this. Or time would vanish...And we know from photographs the astronauts took, the beauty of the earth, its white and its blue, its fleeces, the great glitter afloat. A glorious planet. But wasn't everything being done to make it intolerable to abide here, an unconscious collaboration of all souls spreading madness and poison?

To some people, true enough, experience seemed wealth. Misery worth a lot. Horror a fortune. Yes, But I never wanted such riches.

Gangs, Guns and Violence - The In$ane Chicago Way

Gangs, Guns and Violence - The In$ane Chicago Way, John M. Hagedorn

With money comes power and with power comes respect. In order to maintain this respect and power they had to be willing to protect it by all means necessary. We taught the C-Notes$ they could do this by utilizing their resources. The boys had three pipelines for weapons available to them; one was from West Virginia, one from Texas, and the other from Wisconsin.....
The Texas connect was a member from the Ohio Street faction that was on the lam for several crimes that he was being sought for back in Chicago. He found that all you needed to purchase a weapon in Texas at the time as a Texas driver's license. Before long he opened up his new line of money-making, purchasing and selling guns illegally. .....
In fact, one tactic the C-Note$ employed was to take advantage of the Chicago police mandate to "get guns off the street." When C-Note$ were caught in a drug bust, the Note$ offered firearms to the arresting officers if the charges would be dropped.......Sal laughed and said it was a "win-win." The Note$ didn't go to jail and the cops got brownie points for turning in guns.

Law enforcement always wants to take credit when homicides drop but blame the gangs when it goes up. However, the reasons the Mexican cartel was has not spilled over to the US side surely reflect more than policing and include the conscious, rational decisions of both cartel leaders and powerful US prison gangs.
To better understand this dynamic, we can turn to the 2011 United Nations Global Study on Homicide. It points out that levels of homicide in most times are related to lack of development and inequality. It is the most undeveloped areas, like sub-Saharan Africa, with high numbers of desperate young men, that have the highest rates of killing. The report adds that when homicide rates shoot up stratospherically it is typically because gangs go to war, as in Colombia between the Cali and Medellin cartels, the 1990's mafia wars in Italy, and more recently the Mexican Sinaloa vs Zetas cartel wars. The report adds that violence often sharply declines when wars end.
The standard notion by US criminologists that "neighborhood characteristics" of social disorganization predict homicide rates makes little sense at times of war when murders double or triple in a single year.

"...To me, the instrumental culture of organized crime is a bizarre mirror image of the paramount importance of success in US society and its worship of money and power.
     In the case of both SGD and the Outfit, accomplishing these goals often meant murder. Like Robert Merton, I think this success culture is embedded deep within our society, and some - Merton mentions Al Capone - use violence and corruption to get what they want. Public officials condemn this culture in organized crime at the risk of hypocrisy. The world of politics, sports, government, and business are filled with examples of men and women doing whatever it takes to win. As in A World of Gangs, I argue our main struggle with gang youth is a cultural one, and the target of our struggle should be mainstream, instrumental, hypermasculine, capitalist culture, not some deviant, vicious gang subculture. For me, there are other cultural values - such as nonviolence and human rights - that are more important than money or power."

"History tells us that gangs, corruption, and organized crime will probably never go away, no matter what we do, but it does matter what we do.... One lesson of this book is that Chicago has always had a serious gang problem because it also has always had a serious problem with corruption and police brutality. In Chicago and elsewhere, history shows the gang problem is broader that just a problem of gang members."

Election Day

another day or two and we shall have decided
between one or the other
amongst the vitriol and debate.
If only it could end once and forever
and bring us together along the paths we take
that might lead us to that most perfect of unions
we once dared to dream and state

A Broker in the Woods

Once a man came to visit me while I was busy doing nothing out in the woods,
he was dressed fine with a leather case and shoes that matched.
He said he were a broker, and explained to me
he was a man that goes between one thing for sell and another who does the buying.
I explained to him how busy I was and he offered that was ok,
he would just accompany me while explaining all the security he could offer me.
He seemed so enthusiastic and kind that I could hardly refuse him
and so we walked amongst the woods
all the while he explaining to me all these things that ensured my pleasant way of life
while drilling for oil and building skyscrapers and automobiles and computers
and all those things so necessary for the happiness of a man like me.
I tried to offer him some insight into the ferns found along the path
and how they were amongst the oldest of plants to be found on earth.
He seemed not very impressed as
I mentioned that unlike most, ferns reproduced not from seeds or from flowers,
but from spores that floated upon currents until residing wherever they alight
and formed a totally new thing reproduced from their very own eggs and sperm.
Still he went on, hardly taking notice of anything that I had said,
all about being rich and able to enjoy a life of ease and comfort.
So I moved on to the old oak tree that stood so majestically and mightily rising high above us.
I told him how the oak we now stood under was probably as old as the country itself
and very agreeably he smiled and suggested
I could be sure what he had to offer would survive longer than me,
and even longer than the oak tree itself.
I returned his smile even though I was more than a little disturbed by his restlessness and certainty
about this thing he suggested to be as grand as the mighty oak tree itself.
This thing I said to him that stands between me and you, my dear sir,
had best outlast those you suggest are for so sure.
He assured me that one is not exclusive to the other
and in fact each complements the other.
I smiled and walked him back to his car
and thanked him for his time and enthusiasm
telling him that I needed to return to the woods
while they still stood amidst the cloud and haze of all that he had offered me.

Truth ... truth

 One is always interested in the Truth. just as long as it is the truth one is interested in.

“Anyone who is too attached to material things or the mirror, who likes money, lush banquets, sumptuous mansions, refined suits, luxury cars,” he said, should avoid going into politics—as well as the seminary. Instead, political leaders must lead by example, living frugally and humbly.

Francis also offered some advice on how to fight terrorism and oppression, saying, “the best antidote is love. Love heals everything.”       Pope Francis 

Good Things Come to Me Now

"GOOD THINGS COME TO ME NOW"

Just a personal prayer spoken softly, quietly in my mind, aloud if I'm alone. I hope this don't seem silly to you. I know the power of things like this, the rhythm, the repetition of a soft harmonic chant sets magic in the air, pulls, draws, give the believer power to attract and power to receive.

Gary Gilmore in letter to Nicole Baker Barrett. Sept. 22, 1976 from the book The Executioner's Song, Norman Mailer.

"If you were really scared, and went through it, and came out on the other side intact, then it was hard not to believe for a little while that  you were on the side of the gods."

"whole fields of the soul could be defoliated and never leave a trace."

"You couldn't drag me up there," said Noall T. Wooton, the country attorney who prosecuted  Gilmore, "I've done my job, I asked for it and got the death penalty - and I believe in it. But execution is a dirty, messy job and I don't want to be part of it."

That most predictions are wrong and that prevention, robustness and adaptability is way more important. I can’t help myself – I have to add one thing about the people who give out predictions on all kinds of things. Often these are the people who live in a world where their actions have no consequences and where their ideas and theories don’t have to agree with reality....“You only have to be right on a very, very few things in your lifetime as long as you never make any big mistakes…An investor needs to do very few things right as long as he or she avoids big mistakes.”

Darwin’s result was due in large measure to his working method, which violated all my rules for misery and particularly emphasized a backward twist in that he always gave priority attention to evidence tending to disconfirm whatever cherished and hard-won theory he already had. In contrast, most people early achieve and later intensify a tendency to process new and disconfirming information so that any original conclusion remains intact. They become people of whom Philip Wylie observed: “You couldn’t squeeze a dime between what they already know and what they will never learn.”

Gresham’s Law

This can be common in some business fields. Take two drug salespeople – one willing to bribe doctors in order to make sales, and one not willing to do so. If the industry functions such that fraudulent business practices are not punished, and the bribery goes uncovered by the buyer’s organization, then bribery obviously gains a sustainable competitive advantage over non-bribery. Clearly, the deceptive practice will take hold, as salespeople unburdened by morals are promoted and compensated better than the high-roaders. It’s a clear form of Gresham’s Law. When bad behavior has taken root, and that bad behavior has a “survival advantage” against good behavior, it becomes difficult, and occasionally impossible, to drive out the bad behavior; a process akin to natural selection.

Walking the Dog

Sometimes I take the dog out for a walk. She drags me tree to tree, and post to post wanting to stop and sniff each for dog knows what. Sometimes for entertainment I pause and let her sniff to her delight just to see if she will ever get her fill and decide to move on on her own, but usually her delight outlasts my impatience. Then there are those times that I stop to observe a particular bird, or butterfly, or flower, maybe even just a glimmer of light, but of course, she has no patience for that, and pulls me away to the next awaiting tree or post to be thoroughly explored all over again. I am still not certain whether it is history that interests her, or current events. The thing I have noticed is that dogs almost never have a macro view of the world. Instead they are almost always focused on the micro world that is most immediately in front of them or should I say in front of their noses. Sometimes I think it is a great advantage not to look so far out. After a while the dog and I get distracted by just the walking and we develop a rhythm where we each keep to ourselves as we focus only on the path we walk. It is in moments just as these that I begin to understand a little more the pleasure of the dog taking me out for a walk.

Death

Once you actually begin to die and you experience death, you no longer fear death. Then you can really start to live. When you watch someone die and you watch them let go of everything. They let go of all their possessions, all of their financial security, all of their hopes and dreams, all of their material attachments and even their ego. Finally, they even have to let go of their loved ones. Once they have done that, then they are free to go and there is nothing left to fear. You realize it is not into an abyss that you go, but an abyss you that come from.

Spirit is like zero - it is not divisible, and they only thing that is real is zero. All of the other numbers are illusions of things added unto each other, or subtracted from, or even multiplied or divided. They can never stand onto themselves. All that is left is zero and it alone stands onto itself. It can never be multiplied or divided. You cannot subtract from it and end up with anything other than a negation of itself. You cannot add onto it and end up with anything more than that which is added. The spirit always stands onto itself unchanged.

Spirit is like zero - it is indivisible.
It alone stands onto itself
it cannot be multiplied, nor divided
if you add to it, you are left only with whatever was added
if you subtract from it, then you end with the negation of that which is added.

D.T. Suzuki

Generally, we are blind to this fact, that we are in possession of all the necessary faculties that will make us happy and loving towards one another. All the struggles that we see around us come from this ignorance… When the cloud of ignorance disappears… we see for the first time into the nature of our own being.
Life is after all a form of affirmation… However insistently the blind may deny the existence of the sun, they cannot annihilate it.

The nature of one’s own being where apparently rages the struggle between the finite and the infinite is to be grasped by a higher faculty than the intellect… For the intellect has a peculiarly disquieting quality in it. Though it raises questions enough to disturb the serenity of the mind, it is too frequently unable to give satisfactory answers to them. It upsets the blissful peace of ignorance and yet it does not restore the former state of things by offering something else. Because it points out ignorance, it is often considered illuminating, whereas the fact is that it disturbs, not necessarily always bringing light on its path.

But when it comes to the question of life itself we cannot wait for the ultimate solution to be offered by the intellect, even if it could do so. We cannot suspend even for a moment our life-activity for philosophy to unravel its mysteries. Let the mysteries remain as they are, but live we must… Zen therefore does not rely on the intellect for the solution of its deepest problems.

Let the intellect alone, it has its usefulness in its proper sphere, but let it not interfere with the flowing of the life-stream. If you are at all tempted to look into it, do so while letting it flow. The fact of flowing must under no circumstances be arrested or meddled with…

No amount of wordy explanations will ever lead us into the nature of our own selves. The more you explain, the further it runs away from you. It is like trying to get hold of your own shadow.

The ultimate standpoint of Zen, therefore, is that we have been led astray through ignorance to find a split in our own being, that there was from the very beginning no need for a struggle between the finite and the infinite, that the peace we are seeking so eagerly after has been there all the time.

We are all finite, we cannot live out of time and space; inasmuch as we are earth-created, there is no way to grasp the infinite, how can we deliver ourselves from the limitations of existence? … Salvation must be sought in the finite itself, there is nothing infinite apart from finite things; if you seek something transcendental, that will cut you off from this world of relativity, which is the same thing as the annihilation of yourself. You do not want salvation at the cost of your own existence… Whether you understand or not, just the same go on living in the finite, with the finite; for you die if you stop eating and keeping yourself warm on account of your aspiration for the infinite… Therefore the finite is the infinite, and vice versa. These are not two separate things, though we are compelled to conceive them so, intellectually.

The Tin Drum - Gunter Grass

...if you begin by saying that a novel can't have a hero any more because there are no more individualists, because individuality is a thing of the past, because man - each man and all men together - is alone in his loneliness, and all men lumped together make up a "lonely mass' without names and without heroes."

Rainer Maria Rilke

Second Elegy

But we, when moved by deep feeling, evaporate; we
breathe ourselves out and away; from moment to moment
our emotion grows fainter, like a perfume. Though someone may tell us;
" Yes, you've entered my bloodstream, the room, the whole springtime
is filled with you..." - what does it matter? he can't contain us,
we vanish inside him and around him. And those who are beautiful,
oh  who can retain them? Appearance ceaselessly rises
in their face, and is gone. Like dew from the morning grass,
what is ours floats into the air, like steam from a dish
of hot food. O smile, where are you going? O upturned glance;
new warm receding wave on the sea of the heart...
alas, but that is what we are. Does the infinite space
we dissolve into, taste of us then?

First Elegy

Yes - the springtimes needed you. Often a star
was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you
out of the distant past, or as you walked
under an open window, a violin
yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission.
But could you accomplish it? Weren't you always
distracted by expectation, as if every event
announced a beloved?

Of course, it is strange to inhabit the earth no longer,
To give up customs one barely had time to learn,
Not to see roses and other promising Things
In terms of a human future; no longer to be
What one was in infinitely anxious hands; to leave
Even one’s own first name behind, forgetting it
as easily as a child abandons a broken toy.
Strange to no longer desire one’s desires. Strange
to see meanings that clung together once, floating away
in every direction. And being dead is hard work
and full of retrieval before one can gradually feel
a trace of eternity. — Though the living are wrong to believe
in the too-sharp distinctions which they themselves have created.
Angels (they say) don’t know whether it is the living
they are moving among, or the dead. The eternal torrent
whirls all ages along in it, through both realms
forever, and their voices are drowned out in its thunderous roar.

It made me feel, on the one hand, that Rilke was a very great poet, that he had gone deeper than almost any poet of his age and stayed there longer, and I felt, on the other hand, a sudden restless revulsion from the whole tradition of nineteenth - and early- twentieth-century poetry, or maybe from lyric poetry as such, because it seemed, finally, to have only one subject, the self, and the self - which is not life; we know this because it is what in us humans stands outside natural processes and says, "That's life over there" - had one subject, the fact that it was not life and must, therefore, be death, or if not death, death's bride, or if not death's bride, its lover and secret.

And dying - to let go, no longer feel
the solid ground we stand on every day -
is like his anxious letting himself fall

into the water, which receives him gently
and which, as though with reverence and joy,
draws back past him in streams on either side;
while, infinitely silent and aware,
in his full majesty and ever more
indifferent, he condescends to glide.

from The Swan

In you, who were a child once - in you
from the The Grownup

Buddha In Glory - Poem by Rainer Maria Rilke

Center of all centers, core of cores,
almond self-enclosed, and growing sweet--
all this universe, to the furthest stars
all beyond them, is your flesh, your fruit.

Now you feel how nothing clings to you;
your vast shell reaches into endless space,
and there the rich, thick fluids rise and flow.
Illuminated in your infinite peace,

a billion stars go spinning through the night,
blazing high above your head.
But in you is the presence that
will be, when all the stars are dead. 

Rainer Maria Rilke

SALAR AGHILI - POEM OF THE ATOMS

http://lyricstranslate.com/en/poem-atoms-poem-atoms.html-1#songtranslation#ixzz47FzAYF9A

Oh Sun! Do rise so the atoms dance!

The One who causes the earth and the heavens to dance

Joyful souls, in ecstasy, they dance

I whisper into your ears where the dance is leading them

Inside the cell or out in the space

In the wilderness and in the air

Adore them cause they, too, like us are befuddled and amazed

Whether in the state of keen pleasure or in the state of deep sorrow

Each atom, by the ineffable sun,is mystified and perplexed"

Only Breath - Rumi

Only Breath Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu Buddhist, sufi, or zen. Not any religion or cultural system. I am not from the East or the West, not out of the ocean or up from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not composed of elements at all. I do not exist, am not an entity in this world or in the next, did not descend from Adam and Eve or any origin story. My place is placeless, a trace of the traceless. Neither body or soul. I belong to the beloved, have seen the two worlds as one and that one call to and know, first, last, outer, inner, only that breath breathing human being. Rumi

Vipassana Meditation Guidelines Chanmyay Sayadaw

When concentration is good, pain is not a problem - it is a natural process. If you observe it attentively, the mind will be absorbed in it, and discover its true nature.

When pain comes, note it directly. Ignore it only if it becomes overpoweringly persistent. It can be overcome by deep concentration brought about by continuous mindfulness.



This collection of 'sayings' by Chanmyay Sayadaw is from his teachings given during the 1983 retreat he led at the Malaysian Buddhist Meditation Centre in Penang.

As the context of these 'saying' was mostly the interview situation between the teacher and the individual student, it would be useful to read them as if they were personal instruction and advice from the meditation master.

The Practice
Vipassana or insight meditation, is above all, an experiential practice, based on the systematic and balanced development of a precise and focused awareness. By observing one’s moment-to-moment mind/body processes from a place of investigative attention, insight arises into the true nature of life and experiences. Through the wisdom acquired by using insight meditation one is able to live more freely and relate to the world around with less clinging, fear and confusion. Thus one’s life becomes increasingly directed by consideration, compassion and clarity.


Mental Noting
This is a technique of repeatedly ‘naming’ or ‘labelling’ with the purpose of directing the attention to the mind/body phenomena in order to understand their true nature correctly.

The guiding principle in Vipassana practice is to observe whatever arises at the moment of its occurrence—by noting the present, one lives in the present.

Note attentively and precisely. Superficial noting may make the mind more distracted. When the concentration is weak, the tendency to skip over things may be checked by using the device of ‘labelling’. The actual saying of the words that constitute the ‘label’ is not really necessary, but it is helpful in the beginning. Do persist with the labelling until the noting becomes fluent and drop it only if it becomes too cumbersome, then it has outlived its usefulness.

The meditator will get an appreciation of the purpose of Vipassana meditation by bringing an investigative quality to the ‘noting practice’. This exploration can lead to the discovery of the true nature of the mind/body process.

Sitting Meditation
To prepare for sitting meditation, let the body and the mind relax as much as possible. Maintain the body in a well-balanced posture. Do not change the posture abruptly or unmindfully during the sitting, if you are about to move, note the intention to move before actually moving.

The starting point in the sitting practice is to establish the attention on the sensation of the abdomen caused by the rise and fall movement. This is done by synchronising the mental noting or labelling of the movement when repeating ‘rising, rising’, ‘falling, falling’ with the actual experience of those sensations.

As the movement of the abdomen become steady and clear, increase the number of notings. If the movements are complicated, note them in a general way.

If there is gap between the rising and falling movement of the abdomen, insert the noting of ‘sitting’ and/or ‘touching’ (noting ‘sitting’ is awareness of the characteristic of support of the wind element).

Do not disturb the natural breathing by taking sharp or deep breaths. This will make you tired. The breathing should be just normal.

When secondary objects predominate, such as sounds, thoughts, sensations, etc., note ‘hearing, hearing’, ‘thinking, thinking’,’feeling, feeling’ and so on. At first, it is not easy to note such a variety of objects, but with increased mindfulness one is able to do so. So, when secondary objects have passed, then one goes back to noting the primary object, ie.the rising and falling movements of the abdomen.

Although one is taught to begin with watching the rising and falling movement of the abdomen, one must not get attached to it. For it is not the only object, but one of the many varieties of objects in Vipassana meditation.

Mindfulness of the movement of the abdomen leads to the direct experience of the wind element. That is, to its specific characteristics of motion, vibration and support. It is then that one can rightly know the real nature of the wind element. Thereby destroying the false view of self.


Walking Meditation
Take the walking meditation seriously. By merely doing the walking alone, it is possible to attain complete awareness (Arahantship).

Begin this practice by bringing your attention to the foot. Then note the step part by part as you follow the movement with sharp attention. Mentally noting ‘right,left’’ as you make the steps while walking.

Keep the eyes half-closed and fixed on the ground 4 to 5 feet ahead of you. Avoid looking at the foot during walking, or you will become distracted by it.

Do not let the head bend too low because this will very quickly create strain and tension in your posture.

The objects to be noted are increased gradually. That is, the number of parts of the steps observed, are gradually increased. At the beginning of a walking meditation period note one part only for about 10 minutes: ‘left, right’and so on. Then note your walking in 3 parts:’lifting, pushing, dropping’, etc. Finally, increase the noting to ‘intending, lifting, pushing, dropping, touching, pressing’.

Please consider this. The mind is sure to wander off quite a few times during a walking period of one hour. So do not look around here and there during walking meditation. You have had, and will have many more years to look around. If you do it during the retreat, you can forget about having concentration. The wandering eye is a difficult problem for the meditator. So take note very mindfully of the desire to look around.


Mindfulness Of Daily Activities

Awareness of daily activities is the very life of a meditator. Once one fails to observe an activity, one loses one’s life, as it were. That is, one ceases to be a meditator, being devoid of mindfulness, concentration and wisdom.

The faculty of mindfulness becomes powerful by constant and uninterrupted awareness of every activity throughout the days practice.

Constant mindfulness gives rise to deep concentration, and it is only through deep concentration that one can realise the intrinsic nature of physical and mental phenomena. This then leads one to the cessation of suffering.

Failing to note the daily activities create wide gaps of unmindfulness. Continuity of noting is needed to carry the awareness forward from one moment to the next. With this kind of practice there are many new things to discover every day.

During a retreat, all you need to do is be mindful. There is no need to hurry. The Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw compared a Vipassana meditator to a weak invalid, who by necessity moves about very slowly.

Doing things very helps to make the mind concentrated. If you want the meditation to develop, you must get accustomed to slowing down.

When a fan is turning fast, you cannot see it as it really is, but when it is turning slowly then you can see. Therefore you need to slow down significantly to clearly see the mental and physical processes as they really are.

When you are surrounded by people who are doing things in a hurry, be oblivious to your surroundings. Instead, note your own mental and physical activities energetically.

Talking is a great danger to the progress of insight. A ‘five minute’ talk can wreck a meditator’s concentration for the whole day.

Pain and Patience
Pain is the friend of the meditator. Do not evade it, it can lead you to nibbana

Pain does not have to inform, you of its coming. It may not disappear, but if it does, you may cry over it, for your friend has gone away.

Pain is observed not to make it go away, but to realise its true nature.

When concentration is good, pain is not a problem - it is a natural process. If you observe it attentively, the mind will be absorbed in it, and discover its true nature.

When pain comes, note it directly. Ignore it only if it becomes overpoweringly persistent. It can be overcome by deep concentration brought about by continuous mindfulness.

If intense pain arises arises walking meditation, stop occasionally and take note of it.

Be patient with anything and everything that stimulates your mind.

Patience lead to Nibbana - impatience leads to hell.


Noting Mental States
When noting mental or emotional states, do it quickly, energetically and precisely so that the noting mind is continuous and powerful. Then thinking stops by itself.

Unless you can note the wandering thoughts, you are already defeated when attempting to concentrate the mind. If your mind is inclined to wander, it indicates that you are not really noting thoughts energetically enough. The acquired ability to do this is indispensable.

If you are aware of the content of thoughts, they will tend to go on. If you are aware of the thought itself, then thinking will cease.

Do not be attached to thinking and theory. Meditation is beyond time and space. So do not be caught up with thinking and theory. Insight will arise with deep concentration, but logical and philosophical thinking comes with shallow concentration.

Drowsiness can be overcome by putting in more effort. Labelling activities vigorously is helpful. Note sleepiness energetically, if you accept laziness, you will go on half asleep.

Actually, the energy to note is always there. The trouble is that you are reluctant to do it. The mental attitude is very important. So, do not be pessimistic. If you are optimistic, you offer yourself an opportunity. Then there is satisfaction in every situation and there will be less distraction.

A human being has a great variety of abilities and the strength to do many things. If you want to develop this meditation to its ultimate goal of complete awareness you will need to put a determined effort into the practice. If you put in this all-out effort you will achieve the final liberation from habitual clinging, fear and confusion.


The Eight Precepts
Moral integrity serves as the basis for the development of concentration, which is essential for the cultivation of vipassana meditation.

During retreats, all participants are expected to observe the following training rules:
I understand to abstain from harming or killing living beings.
I undertake to abstain from taking what is not given.
I undertake to abstain from erotic behaviour.
I undertake to abstain from false speech.
I undertake to abstain from intoxicating drink and drugs.
I undertake to abstain from eating after midday.
I undertake to abstain from entertainment, beautification and adornments.
I undertake to abstain from using luxurious beds and seats.


Guidance for Interviews
All meditators report daily to the meditation teacher. They report on what they have noted and experienced during that day’s practice. The teacher will suggest any corrections, give further instructions and try to inspire the meditator onto further progress.

During interviews try to describe:
What was noticed of the rising and falling movement
Feelings/sensation
Imagination/ideas
Mindfulness of daily activities.

Describe each of these in detail. Try to be concise and to the point.
During the interview do not pause to wait for remarks from the teacher. Only after you have reported all your experiences will any remarks be made.
Please listen carefully to all the instructions from the teacher and follow them diligently. If there is ant doubt, please ask the teacher.
When asked a question, answer it directly. Please do not speak about something else.
Report all experiences even if they seem unimportant to you.
Many meditators find that making short written notes immediately after each meditation is helpful, but one should not make it a point to attempt to remember while meditating. This will disturb concentration.

a geography of secrets - frederick reuss

"We live on a molten sphere with a thin crust orbiting the sun. Every event that occurs on it takes on a nearly infinite  number of simultaneous meanings."

From up close, war is always about nothing. For people who experience war, there is only confusion and forgetting. It's the ones who were never there, the ones who come later, who always decide what happened. They're the ones who write the histories, erect the monuments and memorials. Make up the meaning. The cliche that history forgotten is history repeated." He smiled and shook his head. "Well, the problem is precisely what it is that is remembered... The past is a mental thing. It doesn't exist."

"we are all invisible to ourselves as to those whose paths cross and whose lives touch ours in ways we will never know."

Philosophy in the Flesh George Lakoff and Mark Johnson

Zonce we have learned a conceptual system, it is neurally instantiated in our brains and we are not free to think just anything.... Because our conceptual systems grow out of our bodies, meaning is grounded in and through our bodies... truth is mediated by embodied understanding and imagination. That does not mean that that truth is purely subjective or that there is no stable truth. Rather our common embodiment allows for common, stable truths... The neural structures of our brains produce conceptual systems and linguistic structures that cannot be adequately accounted for by formal systems that only manipulate symbols.

Just as astronomy tells us that the earth moves around the sun, not the sun around the stationary earth, so cognitive science tells us that colors do not exist in the external world.... Visible light is electromagnetic radiation, like radio waves, vibrating within a certain frequency range. It is not the kind of thing that could be colored....The opposition between red and green or blue and yellow is a fact of our neural circuitry, not about the reflectance properties of surfaces. Color is not just about the internal representation of external reflectance. And it is not a thing or substance out there in the world.

mindless Metaphors

red appears to me out of the blue.
it's only a thing to see and occasionally feel
but never eat or taste or touch

the blue sky's setting sun fades yellow to orange
as the earth revolves its burning orb to its nocturnal abode.
blue sky's shorter waves lengthen to give its hue

near is not hardly so near as it might seem
but far is a distance more grand than I imagined

in front of me lies ahead what I had hoped to leave behind
while behind me lies all I had ever dreamt for

starting anew isn't like continuing along
it is more like resuming from where previously stopped

grasping and pulling, one draws closer to themselves
the very things that they themselves have pushed away

to get over something we must go through a lot
because that is how we find out what is in us.
if you are on the top it is only because you rose from below

struggling to gain control the greater self wrestles the lesser
as the true self, which resides deep inside, struggles to get out
and to express itself while suppressing the false self's latent urges.

plumbing the depths of my reasoning I seek for the real me
lost amongst the myriad reflections of a mind lost in mindless reflection.

the truth we seek is only the truth we can understand.
the truth we discover is always less than the one we don't.

Interdependent Meaning

looking out from inside of myself I see a world I don't comprehend
where things exist unto themselves regardless of my awareness,
and yet, while that might be, their being has no meaning without me.
there are no green trees, or hard rock, or hot sun, or fresh air.
these things, it is I who say they are so, and give them their meaning,
but I can only say so while relating one to the other.
I may give them meaning, but only after they have given it to me
each existing unto itself interdependent each upon the other.

salvation's grace

suddenly I feel my blood beginning to boil
it seems as if my head is going to burst
raging inside a pounding heart, the pressure builds

a fleeting moment, a chance to breathe, or explode
sitting on green grass, warm sunshine, gentle breeze, fresh air
I breathe. slowly the boiling subsides, pressure eases, intact I remain

image

seeing in the mind is like seeing with the eyes
an image resides upon the mind stage
whose act goes on even with curtains drawn
my eye's image dances with my mind's image
the curtain is drawn and behold the play

Symbolic Modeling

What is philosophically important about this study is that there is no single, unified notion of our inner lives. There is not one Subject-Self distinction, but many. They are all metaphorical and cannot be reduced to any consistent literal conception of Subject and Self. Indeed, there is no consistency across the distinctions. Yet, the multifarious notions of Subject and Self are far from arbitrary. On the contrary, they express apparently universal experiences of an "inner life," and the metaphors for conceptualizing our inner lives are grounded in other apparently universal experiences. These metaphors appear to be unavoidable, to arise naturally from common experience. Moreover, each such metaphor conceptualizes the subject as being person like, with an existence independent of the Self. The Self, in this range of cases, can be either a person, and object, or a location.

The ultimate philosophical significance of the study is that the very way that we normally conceptualize our inner lives is inconsistent with what we know scientifically about the nature of mind. In our system for conceptualizing our inner lives, there is always a Subject that is the locus of reason and that metaphorically has an existence independent of the body. As we have seen, this contradicts the fundamental findings of cognitive science. And yet, the conception of such a Subject arises around the world uniformly on the basis of apparently universal and unchangeable experiences. If this is true, it means that we all grow up with a view of our inner lives that is mostly unconscious, used every day of our lives in our self-understanding, and yet both internally inconsistent and incompatible with what we have learned from the scientific study of the mind.

Our metaphoric conceptions of inner life have a hierarchical structure. At the highest level, there is the general Subject-Self metaphor, which conceptualizes a person as bifurcated. The exact nature of this bifurcation is specified more precisely one level down, where there are five specific instances of the metaphor. These five special cases of the basic Subject-Self metaphor are grounded in four types of everyday experience: (1) manipulating objects, (2) being located in space, (3) entering into social relations, and (4) emphatic projection - conceptually projecting yourself onto someone else, as when a child imitates a parent. The fifth special case comes from the Folk Theory of Essences: each person is seen as having an Essence that is part of the Subject. The person may have more than one Self, but only one of those Selves is compatible with that Essence. This is called the "real" or "true" self.

It is not a trivial fact that every metaphor we have for our inner life is a special case of a single general metaphor schema. This schema reveals not only something deep about our conceptual systems but also something deep about our inner experience, mainly that we experience ourselves as split. 
   In the general Subject-Self metaphor, a person is divided into a Subject and one or more Selves. The Subject is in the target domain of that metaphor. The Subject is that aspect of a person that is experiencing consciousness and the locus of reason, will, and judgement, which, by its nature, exists only in the present.

Self Struggle 

gripping tightly I hold onto myself
so as not to lose myself.
it is one thing to let yourself go
but quite another to be blown away.

Self control is an action only I 
can take, no matter the force imposed.
wrestling with one self is the most 
severe struggle, there is no escape

you might be lifted up or held down by others
but ultimately you must lift yourself up
and only you can hold yourself down.
no matter the struggle, it is always with yourself.

What Exactly is a Metaphor?

In George Lakoff and Mark Johnson's mind-expanding book, Metaphors We Live By, they say:

"The essence of metaphor is understanding and experiencing one kind of thing in terms of another."

 In Man and His Symbols Carl Jung noted there is always something more to a symbol than meets the eye and no matter how much a symbol is described, its full meaning remains elusive: "What we call a symbol is a term, a name or even a picture that may be familiar in daily life, yet that possesses specific connotations in addition to its conventional and obvious meaning. It implies something vague, unknown or hidden from us."

The way we relate to a symbol is all-important. Symbols such as national flags or religious icons may have a shared cultural meaning, but it is our personal connection with them that imbues them with significance. Even though we may use common metaphors, when these are examined more closely a uniquely personal meaning always emerges. Our personal symbolism connects us to our history, our spiritual nature, our sense of destiny and to the "vague, unknown or hidden" aspects of our life. The more this symbolism is explored the more its significance emerges, and the more we can use it as a guide to awareness and action.

cognitive unconscious = we have no direct conscious awareness of most of what goes on in our mind. Conscious thought is the tip of an enormous iceberg. It is the rule of thumb among cognitive scientists that unconscious thought is 95 percent of all thought - and that may be a serious underestimate. Moreover the 95 percent below the surface of conscious awareness shapes and structures all conscious thought.... All of our knowledge and beliefs are framed in terms of a conceptual system that resides mostly in the cognitive unconscious...What we call "the cognitive unconscious" is the totality of those theoretical cognitive mechanisms above the neural level that we have sufficient evidence for, but that we have no conscious access to.

There is no truth for us without understanding. Any truth must be in a humanly conceptualized and
understandable form if it is to be truth for us. If it's not truth for us, how can we make sense of its being truth at all?

Embodied truth = a person takes a sentence as "true" of a situation if what he or she understands the sentence as expressing accords with what he or she understands the situation to be... Embodied truth is not, of course, absolute objective truth...Embodied truth is also not purely subjective truth. Embodiment keeps it from being purely subjective...In sum, embodied truth requires us to give up the illusion that there exists a unique correct description of any situation. Because of the multiple levels of our embodiment, there is no one level at which one can express all the truths we can know about a given subject matter. But even if there is no one correct description, there can still be many correct descriptions, depending on our embodied understandings at different levels or from different perspectives.

What we mean by "real" is what we need to posit conceptually in order to be realistic, that is, in order to function successfully to survive, to achieve ends, and to arrive at workable understandings of the situation we are in. 

Disembodied scientific realism creates an unbridgeable ontological chasm between "objects," which are "out there," and subjectivity, which is "in here." Once the separation is made, there are then only two possible, and equally erroneous, conceptions of objectivity: Objectivity is either given by the "things themselves" (the objects) or by the intersubjective structure of consciousness shared by all people (the subjects).
The first is erroneous because the subject-object split is a mistake; there are no objects-with-descriptions-and-categorizations existing in themselves. The second is erroneous because mere intersubjectivity, if it is nothing more than social or communal agreement, leaves out our contact with the world.
The problem with classical disembodied scientific realism is that it takes two intertwined and inseparable dimensions of all experience-the awareness of the experiencing organism and the stable entities and structure it encounters-and erects them as separate and distinct entities called subjects and objects. What disembodied realism (what is sometimes called "metaphysical' or "external" realism) misses is that, as embodied, imaginative creatures, we never were separated or divorced from reality in the first place.

The concepts of cause and events is very much like what we said about time. The concepts of cause and event and all other event-structure concepts are not just reflections of a mind-independent reality. They are fundamentally human concepts. They arise from human biology. Their meanings have a rather impoverished literal aspect; instead, they are metaphorical in significant, ineliminable ways.

a cause is a determining factor for a "situation," whereby a situation we mean a state, change, process, or action.

Well-Being as Wealth and Moral Self-Interest 

Morality typically concerns the promotion of the well-being of others and the avoidance or prevention of harm to others. Thus, it might seem that the pursuit of one's self interest would hardly be seen as a form of moral action. Indeed, the expression, "moral self-interest" might seem to be a contradiction in terms. Yet, there is a pair of metaphors that turns the pursuit of self-interest into moral action.
The first is an economic metaphor: Adam Smith's metaphor of the Invisible Hand. Smith proposed that, in a free market, if we all pursue our own profit, then an Invisible Hand will operate to guarantee that the wealth of all will be maximized. The second is Well-Being is Wealth. When combined with Well-Being is Wealth, Smith's economic metaphor becomes a metaphor for morality; Morality is The Pursuit Of Self-Interest.
For those who believe in the Morality of Self-Interest, it can never be a moral criticism that one is trying to maximize one's self-interest, as long as one is not interfering with anyone else's self-interest.
The Morality of Self-Interest fits very well with the Enlightenment view of human nature, in which people are seen as rational animals and rationality is seen as means-end rationality - rationality that maximizes self-interest.

Moral Strength 

One can have a sense of what is moral and immoral and still not have the ability to do what is moral. An essential condition for moral action is strength of will. Without sufficient moral strength, one will not be able to act on one's moral knowledge or to realize one's moral values. Consequently, it is hard to imagine any moral system that does not give a central role to moral strength. 

But people are not simply born strong. Moral strength must be built. Just as building physical strength requires self-discipline and self-denial, so moral strength is also built through self-discipline and self-denial... By the logic of the metaphor, moral weakness is in itself a form of immorality. The reasoning goes like this: A morally weak person is likely to fall, to give in to evil, to perform immoral acts, and thus to become part of the forces of evil. Moral weakness is thus nascent immorality - immorality waiting to happen. 

Courage is the strength to stand up to external evils and to overcome fear and hardship

Willpower is the strength of will necessary to resist the temptations of the flesh.

Why the Traditional View Can't Work

Therefore, the empirical question of whether our moral concepts and reasoning are metaphoric is all - important. If they are metaphoric, then they are not univocal, they are not understood in their own terms, and there is not some autonomous, monolithic "ethical" domain with its own unique set of ethical concepts. There is no set of pure moral concepts that could be understood "in themselves" or "on their own terms." Instead, we understand morality via mappings of structures from other aspects and domains of our experience: wealth, balance, order, boundaries, light/dark, beauty, strength, and so on. If  our moral concepts are metaphorical, then their structure and logic come primarily from the source domains that ground the metaphors. We are thus understanding morality by means of structures drawn from a broad range of dimensions of human experience, including domains that are never considered by the traditional view to be "ethical" domains. In other words, the constraints on our moral reasoning are mostly imported from other conceptual domains and aspects of experience....

Basic possessions, normal bodily movement, and freedom from the infliction of pain seem to be, literally, where our notion of rights begin.
Correspondingly, abstract rights in adulthood are based on metaphorical versions of the earliest of rights. Abstract rights are conceptualized as (1) property rights, (2) freedom of action (via Action is Self-Propelled Movement), and (3) freedom from harm (both literal and metaphorical harm). Locke's rights to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of property" are versions of these abstract rights. Thomas Jefferson's substitution of "happiness" for "property" is based on the common metaphor Achieving A Purpose is Acquiring A Desired Object. Without these various metaphors, our concepts of rights is meager indeed.

What we do not, and cannot, have is some metaphor-free way of conceptualizing abstract moral concepts or entire moral positions. 

The whole point of having a pure moral reason was supposedly to generate pure concepts and rules that could define an absolute, universal morality. However, if we have no pure moral concepts that are defined only on their own terms, then the idea of a pure moral reason becomes superfluous.

Morality is Grounded

Consequently, our very idea of what morality is comes from those systems of metaphors that are grounded in and constrained by our experience of physical well-being and functioning. This means that our moral concepts are not arbitrary and unconstrained. It also means that we cannot just make up moral concepts de novo. On the contrary, they are inextricably tied to our embodied experience of well-being: health, strength, wealth, purity, control, nurturance, empathy, and so forth. The metaphors we have for morality are motivated by these experiences of well-being, and the ethical reasoning we do is constrained by the logic of these experiential source domains for the metaphors.

It just doesn't seem plausible to think of moral principles springing full-blown and unmotivated from pure reason, as though they were not defined relative to human purposes, good, and ends. Moreover, the cognitive evidence is against it.... There is no pure moral reason and there are no pure moral concepts that are understood solely "in themselves" or in relation only to other pure ethical concepts. Our moral understanding is metaphorical, drawing structure and inference patterns from a wide range of experiential domains that involve values, goods, ends, and purposes. Our system of moral concepts is neither monolithic, nor entirely consistent, nor fixed and finished, and certainly not autonomous. 

resting in awakened awareness

resting in awakened awareness
there is nothing to do
there is nowhere to go
there is nothing to think
there are no plans to make
there is nothing to control

breathing in, is the breath in?
breathing out, is the breath out?
letting go of the breath, am I still breathing?
letting go of the breath, am I being breathed?
is the in breath the same breath as the out breath?

resting in awakened awareness
there is no in breath
there is no out breath
letting go of the breath i no longer am breathing
letting go of the breath i am not being breathed
there is only breath

I grew up white in Mississippi

I grew up white in Mississippi
it seems that must always be clarified
for each has their own experience
even if its of the same place and time

in the morning air lies the uncreated
stirring deeply amongst the myst
whose embrace cannot be grasped
delicately it imparts its presence like scent
but does not linger long and soon diffuses
back imperceptibly into the lingering air

leaving hints that if aware is always there

I grew up white in Mississippi

i grew up white in Mississippi. it seems one must always clarify one's race when describing growing up in Mississippi. I grew up at a time when the civil rights movement was in full throes. I was probably too young to know anything about it. I didn't grow up knowing white people were supposed to not like black people. No one said nothing about that till later. I don't have any memories of Medgar Evers getting killed. I would have only been like 5 when that happened. I think I remember John Kennedy getting shot, but maybe its really not my memory. I'm not sure why I wouldn't have someone else's memory of Medgar Evers getting shot, but then he wasn't the president or anything either. As a child we grew up with a maid. Not that we were rich, we weren't. And in many ways she took the place of a mother and it seemed as natural and normal as ever to be raised by a black mother as a white one. Occasionally, she brought her son over who was also my brother and mine age, and we played together like we did with any other kid. Evon was her name, it still might be, which I guess shows you she wasn't really my mother or else I would at least know if she were alive or well or not. On good days we would go to the small corner grocer. I don't remember if we walked, or road our bikes, or if we got a ride. I don't think we had but one car so I assume that most of the time we either walked or road our bikes. I don't hardly remember nothing about it, except it was always special because we usually got  some candy, and there was a black man who worked there, Percy was his name, I don't know why I remember him, but I do, and I remember he wore his watch with the face facing inwards so he wouldn't scratch it. I liked him. I don't know if he liked me or not, but he was really a nice guy and didn't no one ever say mean or bad things about him. He had a certain dignity that even us kids knew he had though we didn't even know there was anything called dignity. I think we just thought he was a happy man that liked to smile and knew everybody's name, and everybody knew him and liked to say hello to him, and for him to say hello to them. I went to Catholic school, that's because I am Catholic, or at least my mother and daddy said I was, which I didn't know at the time, which would make me a little strange too, though like I said, I didn't think so, and no-one ever told me so, at least not till later. In school I think we had a few black people that went to school there, but not many, and I don't remember having black friends or even knowing many black people but our maid and her son and Percy. I don't even remember talking about people being black or white or Catholic or Protestant or any of that stuff. Maybe my mom and dad talked about it sometime, but if they did, I don't remember it, and they didn't tell us about it. It didn't really seem special to grow up white in Mississippi except till later in life and everyone else seemed to think it must really be different. I didn't  think it was really that different to grow up white in Mississippi from growing up black in Mississippi. Well sure now I know being black in Mississippi wasn't nothing like being white in Mississippi, but I don't think being black in Mississippi or being white in Mississippi would be that different from being white or black anywhere else. Of course I don't rightly know cause I only grew up white in Mississippi. 

The Uncreated

in the morning air lies the uncreated
stirring deeply amongst the myst
whose embrace cannot be grasped.
delicately it reveals its presence like a scent
that does not linger and soon diffuses
back imperceptibly into the lmorning air
leaving hints, it is always there, regardless if aware.

I believe

I believe in good things like love and kindness
sure, I know there is hate and meanness
and horrible things that people do to each other
but in the end I believe in the good things

it is not a matter of faith or victory over evil
it is a matter of survival, it is that which
allows me to awake and rejoice at a new day
so I can sense a freshness in the air

the staleness that hangs like a pallor
blows away in the fresh morning breeze
and the sun gives lite to the dim grey
and there is still a bird in a tree that sings

I don't know what the end brings to all those
who hope and sing or those who curse and despair
I hope that all rejoice in the freshness of spring
in the morning air that I find when I believe

maybe it is only a brushstroke across the dim canvas
and that underlying all this wishful silliness
is a cruel world that envelops the simple and pure
but I don't think so, I still believe in love and kindness.

If I ever stopped believing in the good things
then I wonder how or why I would ever walk again
if all there were were the selfish things that
cut me off from you I would be totally alone

I have to believe in the good things because it is
the only way that you can have me, or me you and
without that it would be the end of everything
that gives me hope and love and kindness.

Ajahn Sumedho - Nothing To Get

Ajahn Sumedho

 There's the nibbana of non-grasping while the bodies still living, and then there's the parinibbana the final relinquishment; there's nothing to get reborn. You see, when people die still unenlightened they desire to be reborn again. If you identify with the body, then you try to hold onto it as long as possible or there's the desire to be reborn into something else. You can see it just in a day here when you want something to stimulate you - that's rebirth actually. There's all this desire that will always take us to doing something, absorbing into something else. Well, apply that to when the body is dying. If you're frightened of death, and you've not really contemplated life and you're still attached to all these views about yourself, then there's a lot of desire going to come for rebirth. What you're attached to you tend to absorb into - the things you're used to, what you like, what you find attractive. You tend to go for that all the time; seeking people that you like, or seeking the place or the things, the thoughts and memories which are familiar. People will even hang on to misery and pain, because they're used to it. 

There's the conditioned, the Unconditioned; the created, the uncreated. You can't conceive uncreatedness. You have a word but there's no perception for it. There's no kind of symbol that one could grasp. You could have a doctrine about it, so religion tends to make these metaphysical doctrines that people believe in.

But if you go to the actual feeling of insecurity, you find it peaceful. It's a kind of paradox: when you are reacting to that feeling, you get worried and frightened by it; but as you open to that uncertain, insecure feeling that you have and the violent reaction to it, and bear with it - you will find its peacefulness. You will find a sense of peace with yourself.

What is deathless here and now, or the unconditioned? How do you describe the deathless, what words can describe it?  All conditions are impermanent.  What is death in the here and now? The death of the body is the end of what was born. Birth conditions death. Every condition, physical, mental, psychic, subtle, emotional - all forms begin and end.  All conditions are impermanent. What we experience is change. Is death the ending of what began? 

when you tune in you observe the way things are. reflecting on what is. we try to control what is going on. emotional experience -as we observe the emotional reality we learn to accept things as they are. we become our emotions when we control them. Sound of Silence a natural sound that you can rest in, it is a uncreated sound, the unmovable center of being. There is no me - zero, nothing. starting from zero, what arises? If I trust in the silence it sustains itself. From there I can become aware of the conditions that arise. The conditional is always arising and falling, the unconditional sustains itself. Death is it the passing of the conditional into the unconditional or simply the sustenance of the unconditioned. The stillness receives. It does not pick or choose. In the stillness consciousness arises. If you trust in the stillness, be awareness, then your nature is receptiveness, acceptance of the conditional without judgement. To create karma you have to grasp out of ignorance. There is no death, other than the conditions, which are born and die. When a condition dies, what is left peace. Mindfulness is deathlessness. Deathless can only be described from the conditioned experience. There is not a language to describe it. Where does everything begin? The point ZERO, out of the emptiness, the empty state of being. One does not get "it", something, from mindfulness. If are getting it, you are not doing it right. Once you begin to identify with the experience, then the conditional arises. Awareness is the receptacle for all conditioned phenomenon. The death of conditions is emptiness, nothing. But it is not annihilation. It is the natural state, the uncreated state. There is nothing to fear. To be awareness is to be nobody, no sense of being, but it is intelligent, discerning, observant. 


Sonnet 146: Poor soul, the centre of my sinful earth,
BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
Poor soul, the centre of my sinful earth,
[......] these rebel powers that thee array,
Why dost thou pine within and suffer dearth,
Painting thy outward walls so costly gay?
Why so large cost, having so short a lease,
Dost thou upon thy fading mansion spend?
Shall worms, inheritors of this excess,
Eat up thy charge? Is this thy body's end?
Then soul, live thou upon thy servant's loss
And let that pine to aggravate thy store;
Buy terms divine in selling hours of dross;
Within be fed, without be rich no more.
So shalt thou feed on Death, that feeds on men,
And, Death once dead, there's no more dying then.

Sashaka the Yoga of BKS Iyengar

Edward Bolden

Judge-s-order-granting-new-trial-for-Eddie-Bolden.pdf

http://www.illinoiscourts.gov/opinions/supremecourt/2001/june/opinions/html/87117.htm

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THE LAWS OF LIFE AND DEATH - Swami Vivekananda

Life can only spring from life, thought from thought, matter from matter. A universe cannot be created out of matter.

Mind is merely the fine instrument through which the soul — the master — acts on the body. In India we say a man has given up his body, while you say, a man gives up his ghost. The Hindus believe that a man is a soul and has a body, while Western people believe he is a body and possesses a soul.

Death overtakes everything which is complex. The soul is a single element, not composed of anything else, and therefore it cannot die. By its very nature the soul must be immortal. Body, mind, and soul turn upon the wheel of law — none can escape. No more can we transcend the law than can the stars, than can the sun — it is all a universe of law.

There are two ways, one of truth; one of enjoyment. You have chosen the former.

Until the truth has come through one who has had realization, from one who has perceived it himself, it cannot become fruitful. Books cannot give it, argument cannot establish it. Truth comes unto him who knows the secret of it.

After you have received it, be quiet. Be not ruffled by vain argument. Come to your own realization. You alone can do it.

Neither happiness nor misery, vice nor virtue, knowledge nor non-knowledge is it. You must realize it. How can I describe it to you?

He who cries out with his whole heart, "O Lord, I want but Thee" — to him the Lord reveals Himself. Be pure, be calm; the mind when ruffled cannot reflect the Lord.

Think of this infinite universe with its millions and millions of solar systems, and think with what an infinite, incomprehensible power they are impelled, running as if to touch the Feet of the One Unknown — and how little we are! Where then is room here to allow ourselves to indulge in vileness and mean-mindedness? What should we gain here by fostering mutual enmity and party-spirit? Take my advice: Set yourselves wholly to the service of others, when you come from your colleges. Believe me, far greater happiness would then be yours than if you had had a whole treasury full of money and other valuables at your command. As you go on your way, serving others, you will advance accordingly in the path of knowledge...You little know how nothing would be impossible for you in life if you labour day and night for others with your heart's blood! And lo and behold! the other side of the hallowed river of life stands revealed before your eyes — the screen of Death has vanished, and you are the inheritors of the wondrous realm of immortality!

You little know how nothing would be impossible for you in life if you labour day and night for others with your heart's blood! And lo and behold! the other side of the hallowed river of life stands revealed before your eyes — the screen of Death has vanished, and you are the inheritors of the wondrous realm of immortality!

The idea of freedom is the only true idea of salvation —  freedom from everything, the senses, whether of pleasure or pain, from good as well as evil.

More than this even, we must be free from death and to be free from death, we must be free from life. Life is but a dream of death. Where there is life, there will be death; so get away from life if you would be rid of death.

We are ever free if we would only believe it, only have faith enough. You are the soul, free and eternal, ever free ever blessed. Have faith enough and you will be free in a minute. Everything in time, space, and causation is bound. The soul is beyond all time, all space, all causation. That which is bound is nature, not the soul.

Therefore proclaim your freedom and be what you are — ever free, ever blessed.